Do You Love Me Daddy?

I recently watched a movie about a young girl who had grown up in the home of her mother and step-father. She only had vague memories of her biological father because her parents had divorced when she was 5 years old. The movie starts with the young girl, now 17 years old and a high school graduate, deciding to visit her father during the summer before she begins college.

Her father is portrayed as a selfish loner; as a misunderstood man deserving sympathy but the circumstances failed to generate such emotions. This young girl was standing on the brink of womanhood with a huge void in her life created by his selfishness. Oh, and he drinks too much because he is such a troubled soul. He is abusive and manipulative. She deserved far better. 

Another glaringly obvious characteristic of the movie dad was that he would have been content to live his life without her in it. He was perfectly happy to live his life, doing his own thing with other people he had collected, as if she had never existed. The pursuit of a relationship was all on the part of the daughter and was even rejected and resisted by the father for a time.

In the closing scene, my heart broke. The dust was settling between the father and the daughter after a shouting match and they hugged. What was poignant was her fearfully worded question “Do you love me Daddy?” When he didn’t answer her, she asked again “Do you love me Daddy?” The fear of rejection was written on the daughter’s face and it seemed he wouldn’t answer. He finally responded “Yes, I love you!” ~THE END~

I thought is was one of the saddest moments in the entire film. That a father could love so poorly that his child has to ask if he loves her, is tragic. A father’s love should be a guarantee. What devastation when children do not grow up in the confidence of their father’s love. How painful for a child, even an adult child when they become aware that something just isn’t right and they risk their tender feelings by asking their fathers if they are loved by them.

As I watched the movie I couldn’t help but wonder how often that same story plays out in real life and my heart ached for all the little girls who grew up or will grow up one day and allow themselves to be treated unfairly by boyfriends and spouses because of a dysfunctional relationship with their fathers.

I wonder if women would live differently if their earthly fathers had nurtured them as God intended? I wonder if they would have chosen a different man to marry and father their children if they not been exposed to an environment that made putting up with a lot of frustration for the sake of a relationship seem acceptable?

Were you one of the fortunate ones to have known the love of an earthly father? Or were you one of the ones less than fortunate in that regard?

No one should ever have to wonder if they are loved by their father. No one should ever have to ask “Do you love me Daddy?” and yet it happens every day.

So where does that leave the ending of this blog? Are we without hope? 

No we are not without hope. We have the only truly faithful Father that anyone has ever known. He is the best and a perfect Father. Our heavenly Father! He is a father that tells us over an over that He loves us. We don’t have to ask. He has written an entire book called the Bible that is all about His love for us. He left heaven to show us His love. He shed his blood to reveal the depth of His love for us. He indwells us so that we never have to wonder where He is. He loves us so much that He died so that we could be with Him for all eternity. Love shows up! Jesus definitely showed up to prove His love for us didn’t He?

…And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the Lord’s people, to grasp how wide and how long and how high and how deep is the love of Christ. Ephesians 3:17-18

Regardless of whether or not our earthly fathers loved poorly or loved exceedingly well, our heavenly Father wants us to know that He loves us enough to be beaten, stretched out on cross and nailed to it and die because He loves us so much.

No matter what, we do not have to tremble and ask the question “Do you love me Daddy?” of our heavenly Father. He has already answered that question and we can live securely in His love. He loves us and He always will.

Abba, Father, Daddy, 
I pray that all who read this have been, will be and will continue to be rooted and established in not just any love, but Your love. I pray that they will be able to comprehend, to truly understand that they as part of Your family, Your bride, Your people that your love is wider than the east is from the west; that the length of Your love is infinite and cannot be measured; that it reaches from us to You in heaven at a distance unknown to our finite minds and that the depth of Your love for us cannot be understood because it is not of this world, it is divine. For this great love to be felt and grasped,  we thankfully pray in the name of the One who loves so well, Jesus!