Stories of our lives by: Darcie

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Darcie and I am a grateful believer in Jesus that has victory over drugs, alcohol and anger but who still struggles with being the mother of an addict and food issues. Wow that was a huge introduction huh? Let me explain, I am the ministry leader over Celebrate Recovery at Cross Pointe Church and this is how we introduce ourselves at our meetings. When I was attending Alcoholic Anonymous (court ordered no doubt) we would introduce ourselves as "Hi my name is Darcie and I am an alcoholic addict." Pleased to meet me right? It just never settled with me to label myself this way. When I was finally introduced to Celebrate Recovery I loved that we were reminded that our first identity is a child of God. Not only are we saying that we believe in God but that with Him we are able to claim victory over an addiction in our life and that God is currently working with me on other areas in my life. Currently for me it is being the mother of an addict child (22) and realizing that I have replaced drugs and alcohol with food. Yes food has now become another way of feeding my pain. I am honored to be able to share with you my story as we journey together, actually it is what drew me to Cross Pointe Church. The Mission statement being LOVE GOD, SERVE OTHERS and SHARE YOUR STORY. We all have a story and God uses us and our stories as a teaching tool for others that are lost and without hope. The Bible is a great place to start, it is filled with many stories. It is amazing to me how these stories from thousands of years ago could have any kind of impact on my life today, but they do. However I find it intriguing that no matter what is weighing on my mind, God tends to speak to me through the verses that are in front of me. Today I read Psalm 66 16 Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what he did for me. 17 For I cried out to Him for help, praising Him as I spoke. 18 If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. 19 But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer. 20 Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me. There was a time when I feared God. My guilt and shame kept me far from Him. The thought of coming to a church and being judged by the "Church Ladies" was not how I wanted to spend my Sundays. However there came a time in my life that I had no hope, I felt that my life meant nothing and I was just existing to raise the two children in my life. Consequences were catching up to me and life had become unmanageable. Did I mention that this is Step One in recovery? 1 We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.Romans 7:18 I'll never forget laying on the couch feeling so low and the phone rang. It was my youngest sons teacher calling to tell me some concerns she was having about my son. Who would have thought that my turmoil was affecting my kids also?! Needless to say I poured my heart out to this lady (poor thing) and she listened and invited me to her church. She said they loved single moms. Sure I thought, but you know what, I had nothing to lose. So the kids and I went on Sunday and while the kids loved being surrounded with other kids having fun, I went to the "Big" church. I felt out of place, but was greeted by people at the door who smiled and welcomed me and said, "We are so glad you are here!" Really?! All I kept thinking is wait till you get to know me and soon you will ask me to leave. I sat on the back row and tried to blend into the crowd. What a sermon it was! Did he know I was going to be here? It spoke to my heart and I felt my heart soften and began to weep. Please Jesus take this pain! I want to be a good person, show me how! Tears roll down my face just recalling this moment. So many details that God saw to in this event. The teacher who felt compelled to call a parent about a child, whom soon discovered that the child was feeling the pain of their parent. To the obedience of extending an invitation to church. To the Greeters at the door who said "We are glad you are here"! The message that was given by the pastor, it was meant for me. All of these events that came together just for me! Who would have thought that these could change a LIFE?! They did! I am living proof.